"I am a seagull... no... that's not it..."
Friday, August 23, 2013
Thursday, August 22, 2013
The Seagull
It's the (final) day of the show y'all! All this time and I still don't feel like I'm doing Treplev justice. I'm going to have to force myself into a dark oblivion all day so I can go out with a bang. What I really need though is the desperation involving Treplev's writing, and how Nina fits into that. I've tried applying my line "... but I still move in a chaos of images and dreams...", but I have to be careful not to let that interfere with my focus on Nina. I'm having that last minute crisis of not knowing if I should go rogue and trust in my work, or if I should make the last minute adjustments to cover Chris' notes. Ha! I have no idea if my performance serves Chekhov's vision or if it serves Chris'. Luckily I respect Chris enough to trust that his vision will serve Chekhov's as much as any English translation of "The Seagull" can.
I'm pretty pumped up. I usually hate sinking into and dwelling inside Treplev's state of mind, but for the first time, I'm going to be that annoying actor that can't be bothered all day because "I AM my character..." Gross. After tonight, I'm excited to not feel anything on a deep level for at least ten days.
I'm pretty pumped up. I usually hate sinking into and dwelling inside Treplev's state of mind, but for the first time, I'm going to be that annoying actor that can't be bothered all day because "I AM my character..." Gross. After tonight, I'm excited to not feel anything on a deep level for at least ten days.
Wednesday, August 21, 2013
Chekhov to Wilder to Montana... and back to Wilder
There's nothing to win over a role in "Our Town" quite like a mind-fucking serial killer monologue. My audition is at 5:00, it's for fucking "Our Town", but I'll get to work under this amazing director for the first time and I need/want this connection. Besides, he favors the gay boys. Extra points if you're cute, double that if you're smart. Well, HE thinks I'm smart, so I just need to sustain. I'm too old to play George Gibbs, I think, too young to be Mr. Gibbs or Mr. Webb. The role of Stage Manager (basically the narrator) has no real part in the story, but it would be a fun challenge with my character work to create a real person out of it, I know Milton will expect that from me.
Tomorrow evening I have my final performance as Treplev, thank God. It'll be nice to put that sad, sad shit down for a while. I need to go for it in finding a place of true despair after Nina leaves me, not necessarily despair over Nina, I have that, but the emptiness of having nothing more to live for. No one likes to explore that frame of mind, but it's my damn job and I've been cheating it. However it turns out, Jim and I are hitting the road Saturday morning to drive to my family's ranch in Montana for a week with our friends Landon and Matt. We're meeting my other two friends Nick and Adam out there, since they're driving from Minnesota. On top of that, my mother is joining us for a bit with her friends Andrew (a drag queen!) and John; so that will be eight gay men and my mother under one roof. Well under two roofs. Everyone is bringing their own brick of weed, so that may help keep us all sane and sedated.
No matter, Jim and I will be rocking the kitchen from dawn till dusk busting out my culinary fantasies. It's bound to be an adventure...
No matter, Jim and I will be rocking the kitchen from dawn till dusk busting out my culinary fantasies. It's bound to be an adventure...
The Plan
Just give me till October and I'll have my body looking like that. Maybe a before and after picture is in the near future? It's tricky, 'cause it's hard to mentally deal with the before picture BEFORE one has the body to take the after photo. We'll see, I'm well on my way. Maybe I'll only have an after/I-told-ya-so picture to keep my pride in tact.
Monday, August 19, 2013
Note to Self:
Based on my evening with Food Network...
Start your béchamel sauce with reduced white wine (like you would with a fondu sauce) when making mac and cheese. I'm surprised Ina Garten hasn't caught onto that yet.
AND
Consider beats when making vegetarian sliders. Poach them in a corned beef-like brining liquid, obviously top with goat cheese.
Sweet.
Start your béchamel sauce with reduced white wine (like you would with a fondu sauce) when making mac and cheese. I'm surprised Ina Garten hasn't caught onto that yet.
AND
Consider beats when making vegetarian sliders. Poach them in a corned beef-like brining liquid, obviously top with goat cheese.
Sweet.
Going Vintage
This picture drives my fantasies wild! I'm guessing late 70's, early 80's...
I had a go creating my own version, I guess it's more inspired rather than replicated. Would've been nice to have that decrepit door behind me.
Presenting...
Today I'm pretending that I have my very own vintage cock. Looks like 19...60's? I'll take early 1970's too. Wish I could've made the picture grainier, but I'm pretty new with photo editing. Formally presenting "Bruce", named by my ex-girlfriend, kept by my boyfriend, Jim. Lent out once in a while to our friends and gentlemen callers.
An Hour to Remember
It's funny how a good fuck (or even a bad one for that matter) leaves you even more hot and bothered the following day, rather than satiating you. His name was Phil. Jim and I felt like finally indulging in some sexual therapy, the first since we lost Dexter two and a half weeks ago. Actually, we theorized that our efforts on Gryndr and Scruff may find us a new regular fuck-buddy since we essentially fired or lost all the rest.
Why is a fuck-buddy important during this age of instant app-sex? (Don't get me wrong, instant app-sex has its seedy place in my heart) For one, it's the regularity with someone who isn't a gamble every single rendezvous. For the most part, you know their level of adventure and their STD status, or at least that they test themselves regularly. Given that this buddy either is or becomes an actual friend, then one can consider barebacking; which is always risky, but MAN is it better. We've only done this once, but we love to have Jim fuck our gentleman caller, cum inside of him, and then I'll follow using James' seed to smooth the way. Naturally, that only happens when we're 97% sure everyone is clean (100% certainty is basically impossible). So what am I really saying? I guess that I hope Phil will eventually let us breed him back to back, or do so with one of us.
But I've gotten way ahead of myself. Phil is 33, very handsome, and uncut. The latter is difficult to find, even with how international this city is. Not only is he uncut, he has this beautiful, thick dick with dark foreskin and balls. I only mention the color because he's a pale guy which made the juxtaposition even hotter. As a circumcised guy, I don't think there's anything quite like the soft texture of foreskin. Oh! And he's a stoner, well somewhat, which makes a person immediately more compatible for us to hang out with. So after smoking a bowl I excused myself to the bathroom so Jim could get things going (we've found that guys seem to be less uncomfortable with us getting intimate if both of us aren't in the room). When I return, of course they're well on their way, the system never fails.
We started the usual way, taking turns getting on our knees and blowing the other two, making sure we're familiar with the taste of everyone. But cock is never enough. The moment Phil sat on the couch, I lifted his legs over his shoulders and tongue-fucked him, taking tips from Colby Keller so that one day I can feel like an expert ass-eater. He was so vocal! I know I was dripping precum because the combination of his amazing asshole and big uncut cock was driving me insane. Then Jim dove in while I alternated watching and sucking cock. In the same position, Jim teased his hole with the tip of his cock until Phil begged him to stick it in. Condom up, and they were balls deep fucking. Phil was again so vocal that I thought he was going to cum within two minutes of getting fucked, like our ex-fuck-buddy. Jim tends to cum towards the beginning of our romps, and then he's either able to just keep going (I know, right?) or he can go for round two after a short rest. I wish I could do that. I have to bank on holding off my orgasm.
After Jim came, we basically kept the position, and I condomed up and eased in. I'm kinda thick, so Phil got even louder. It's Saturday night, so I just fuck him harder, letting him scream. I would slow down and fuck deeper, trying to let him feel the ridge of my cock-head slide out and back in again with every thrust. He was already pretty loud, so I guess he just screamed more desperately. Scream is an overstatement, it was a very very loud moan. Audible exhales, if you will. We switched to the floor and he rode me, which isn't as affective for the top as other positions, but the shared effort in the fucking turns me on. Again, I would try and give him the full length of my cock with every thrust. The damn thick magnum condoms kept me miles from cumming, so I just kept going. By his request, we switched to doggy-style, which I don't usually get too into, but this time I did. After a strong whiff of poppers, I would watch my cock slide all the way out of his hole, and automatically find its way back in, as if his hole and my cock head had magnets in them.
Now he and I are about 25 minutes into fucking and I'm pouring sweat, somewhat embarrassingly. Jim has sat in front of Phil and is filling Phil's mouth with his cock, which is luckily muffling the noise. I bent over and pressed my chest against his back to change the leverage, but also to fondle his amazing cock and balls, which I hoped would bring me to cum. Almost, but no such luck. So I just whipped off the condom and came on his chest and belly, much to his approval. At this point I didn't feel so bad for not going on a run earlier as I mopped up all my sweat. After about 5 minutes with all of us exhausted on the floor, we got up and leisurely smoked a bowl while getting to know Phil better. He joked that he was reluctant to come over because he thought that a couple as young as we are would be twinky, unadventurous bottoms and would probably bore him. Needless to say, that was not the case.
Why is a fuck-buddy important during this age of instant app-sex? (Don't get me wrong, instant app-sex has its seedy place in my heart) For one, it's the regularity with someone who isn't a gamble every single rendezvous. For the most part, you know their level of adventure and their STD status, or at least that they test themselves regularly. Given that this buddy either is or becomes an actual friend, then one can consider barebacking; which is always risky, but MAN is it better. We've only done this once, but we love to have Jim fuck our gentleman caller, cum inside of him, and then I'll follow using James' seed to smooth the way. Naturally, that only happens when we're 97% sure everyone is clean (100% certainty is basically impossible). So what am I really saying? I guess that I hope Phil will eventually let us breed him back to back, or do so with one of us.
But I've gotten way ahead of myself. Phil is 33, very handsome, and uncut. The latter is difficult to find, even with how international this city is. Not only is he uncut, he has this beautiful, thick dick with dark foreskin and balls. I only mention the color because he's a pale guy which made the juxtaposition even hotter. As a circumcised guy, I don't think there's anything quite like the soft texture of foreskin. Oh! And he's a stoner, well somewhat, which makes a person immediately more compatible for us to hang out with. So after smoking a bowl I excused myself to the bathroom so Jim could get things going (we've found that guys seem to be less uncomfortable with us getting intimate if both of us aren't in the room). When I return, of course they're well on their way, the system never fails.
We started the usual way, taking turns getting on our knees and blowing the other two, making sure we're familiar with the taste of everyone. But cock is never enough. The moment Phil sat on the couch, I lifted his legs over his shoulders and tongue-fucked him, taking tips from Colby Keller so that one day I can feel like an expert ass-eater. He was so vocal! I know I was dripping precum because the combination of his amazing asshole and big uncut cock was driving me insane. Then Jim dove in while I alternated watching and sucking cock. In the same position, Jim teased his hole with the tip of his cock until Phil begged him to stick it in. Condom up, and they were balls deep fucking. Phil was again so vocal that I thought he was going to cum within two minutes of getting fucked, like our ex-fuck-buddy. Jim tends to cum towards the beginning of our romps, and then he's either able to just keep going (I know, right?) or he can go for round two after a short rest. I wish I could do that. I have to bank on holding off my orgasm.
After Jim came, we basically kept the position, and I condomed up and eased in. I'm kinda thick, so Phil got even louder. It's Saturday night, so I just fuck him harder, letting him scream. I would slow down and fuck deeper, trying to let him feel the ridge of my cock-head slide out and back in again with every thrust. He was already pretty loud, so I guess he just screamed more desperately. Scream is an overstatement, it was a very very loud moan. Audible exhales, if you will. We switched to the floor and he rode me, which isn't as affective for the top as other positions, but the shared effort in the fucking turns me on. Again, I would try and give him the full length of my cock with every thrust. The damn thick magnum condoms kept me miles from cumming, so I just kept going. By his request, we switched to doggy-style, which I don't usually get too into, but this time I did. After a strong whiff of poppers, I would watch my cock slide all the way out of his hole, and automatically find its way back in, as if his hole and my cock head had magnets in them.
Now he and I are about 25 minutes into fucking and I'm pouring sweat, somewhat embarrassingly. Jim has sat in front of Phil and is filling Phil's mouth with his cock, which is luckily muffling the noise. I bent over and pressed my chest against his back to change the leverage, but also to fondle his amazing cock and balls, which I hoped would bring me to cum. Almost, but no such luck. So I just whipped off the condom and came on his chest and belly, much to his approval. At this point I didn't feel so bad for not going on a run earlier as I mopped up all my sweat. After about 5 minutes with all of us exhausted on the floor, we got up and leisurely smoked a bowl while getting to know Phil better. He joked that he was reluctant to come over because he thought that a couple as young as we are would be twinky, unadventurous bottoms and would probably bore him. Needless to say, that was not the case.
Since I don't have a picture of us in the act, here's a beautiful vintage representation for now.
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